RealTimeFaith.net : 4Q08 Lesson 12

Proverbs 18:24 (Amplified Bible) :

p>“The man of many friends [a friend of all the world] will prove himself a bad friend, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.”

“God's word places great stress upon the influence of association, even on men and women. How much greater is its power on the developing mind and character of children and youth! The company they keep, the principles they adopt, the habits they form, will decide the question of their usefulness here and of their future destiny. . . .

“It is inevitable that the youth will have associates, and they will necessarily feel their influence. There are mysterious links that bind souls together so that the heart of one answers to the heart of another. One catches the ideas, the sentiments, the spirit, of another. This association may be a blessing or a curse. The youth may help and strengthen one another, improving in deportment, in disposition, in knowledge; or, by permitting themselves to become careless and unfaithful, they may exert an influence that is demoralizing.

“It has been truly said, ‘Show me your company, and I will show you your character.’ The youth fail to realize how sensibly both their character and their reputation are affected by their choice of associates. One seeks the company of those whose tastes and habits and practices are congenial. He who prefers the society of the ignorant and vicious to that of the wise and good shows that his own character is defective. His tastes and habits may at first be altogether dissimilar to the tastes and habits of those whose company he seeks; but as he mingles with this class, his thoughts and feelings change; he sacrifices right principles and insensibly yet unavoidably sinks to the level of his companions. As a stream always partakes of the property of the soil through which it runs, so the principles and habits of youth invariably become tinctured with the character of the company in which they mingle” (The Adventist Home, pp. 455, 456).

A Friend Like That

You’ve probably heard of Helen Keller. She was born a normal, healthy child near the end of the nineteenth century, but before her second birthday a severe illness left her both blind and deaf. Unable to hear, she couldn’t develop the ability to speak normally either. Her parents loved her dearly, but they had no idea how to speak to communicate with a child who couldn’t see, hear, or speak—much less how to discipline her. Helen became wild and unmanageable, and her parents were afraid she would have to spend her life in an institution.

Then, when Helen was almost 7 years old, a young woman named Annie Sullivan came to be her teacher. Annie was still quite young herself and was also visually impaired. Though she didn’t share Helen’s deafness, she had some idea of how difficult life was for a blind child. She immediately began trying to teach Helen simple words by spelling the sign-language alphabet into her hand. Although Helen didn’t understand at first, she responded to the love, structure, and discipline Annie introduced into her young life.

As Helen later described it herself, the breakthrough came one day when Annie took Helen’s hand and ran it under the water pump, while at the same time spelling “water.” For the first time Helen realized that the spelling and the water were connected—that she could give names to things by learning the sign language alphabet. From then on she grew and learned by leaps and bounds as she constantly asked her teacher for more and more words.

Helen Keller became the first deaf and blind person to graduate from university, and went on to have a long career as a writer and public speaker. Throughout it all, her teacher, Annie Sullivan, remained her closest friend, companion, and translator—for Helen never learned to speak well enough for people to understand. Helen and Annie remained inseparable until Annie’s death.

The wall of darkness and silence that separated young Helen from the rest of the world seemed impossible to get past. But all it took was a loving, caring friend—one who had experienced some of the same difficulties and come through them, who was willing to guide, to teach, and to show the way. Doesn’t everyone need a friend like that?

Is a true friend always someone your own age? Explain.

“Christian sociability is altogether too little cultivated by God's people. . . . Those who shut themselves up within themselves, who are unwilling to be drawn upon to bless others by friendly associations, lose many blessings; for by mutual contact minds receive polish and refinement; by social intercourse acquaintances are formed and friendships contracted which result in a unity of heart and an atmosphere of love which is pleasing in the sight of heaven.

“Especially should those who have tasted the love of Christ develop their social powers, for in this way they may win souls to the Saviour. Christ should not be hid away in their hearts, shut in as a coveted treasure, sacred and sweet, to be enjoyed solely by themselves; nor should the love of Christ be manifested toward those only who please their fancy. Students are to be taught the Christlikeness of exhibiting a kindly interest, a social disposition, toward those who are in the greatest need, even though these may not be their own chosen companions. At all times and in all places Jesus manifested a loving interest in the human family and shed about Him the light of a cheerful piety” (The Adventist Home, p. 457).

Here’s What I Think

You have an important choice to make: You’ve been picked to be on a high-profile city sports team, the all-stars for your age group. Being on this team will give you the opportunity to compete nationally and maybe even play professionally someday. You know joining the team will mean a huge time commitment, and you’ll have to drop other things in your life. Plus, there may be problems with competing on Sabbath. But it’s the chance of a lifetime.

You ask around for advice. Your best friends say, “Are you crazy? Go for it!” Your favorite teacher says, “If you join this team, your schoolwork will probably suffer.” Your youth pastor says, “I don’t believe Christians should be involved in competitive sports.” Your mom and dad say, “This is an important decision, and you have to make it yourself. We won’t make it for you.”

Do you listen to other people’s advice? Or do you think a decision like this has to be made all on our own without anyone’s input? If you choose to ask others for their advice, how do you know whom to trust?

Log on to www.guidemagazine.org/rtf to post your responses. Be up-front and honest. Say what you think. The lines below are provided as an alternative to posting. You also may wish to record your thoughts so that you can share them with your class later.

Find the hidden words within the grid of letters.

K

P

M

D

I

N

S

T

R

U

C

T

E

A

S

E

L

N

S

K

B

F

W

F

T

W

L

D

B

V

O

E

M

U

I

C

E

B

A

Y

I

N

V

J

O

M

H

T

G

D

A

C

M

S

A

I

Z

L

J

M

F

I

G

O

R

T

N

I

O

S

Z

Y

J

O

K

U

T

V

E

I

D

H

E

U

Y

K

C

O

W

D

M

N

S

U

P

N

I

C

N

I

E

W

A

R

N

W

X

T

I

A

V

A

Y

S

R

J

E

K

T

C

R

E

Z

E

N

P

Q

H

C

Q

I

Y

E

K

F

A

H

V

X

J

W

E

T

P

J

P

D

P

Z

D

O

I

X

D

A

Y

L

K

L

G

B

A

M

S

B

F

O

N

T

E

D

I

U

G

K

F

U

O

S

C

U

E

W

I

C

R

S

F

D

M

W

Q

T

K

B

L

M

D

U

V

L

I

B

O

Z

B

A

J

K

H

W

H

V

F

advise	care	instruct	love	warn
advocate	guide	lend	recommend	aid
help	listen	suggest

In your own words, please write what you feel are the traits of a true friend.

Proverbs 27:9 (Amplified Bible):

“Oil and perfume rejoice the heart; so does the sweetness of a friend's counsel that comes from the heart.”

Proverbs 1:5 (Amplified Bible)

“The wise also will hear and increase in learning, and the person of understanding will acquire skill and attain to sound counsel [so that he may be able to steer his course rightly].”

Job 2:11-13 (Amplified Bible):

“Now when Job's three friends heard of all this evil that was come upon him, they came each one from his own place, Eliphaz the Temanite and Bildad the Shuhite and Zophar the Naamathite, for they had made an appointment together to come to condole with him and to comfort him.

“And when they looked from afar off and saw him [disfigured] beyond recognition, they lifted up their voices and wept; and each one tore his robe, and they cast dust over their heads toward the heavens.

“So they sat down with [Job] on the ground for seven days and seven nights, and none spoke a word to him, for they saw that his grief and pain were very great.”

So What?

You know how it is when you just have to talk to someone? Things are going badly and you need to let off some steam. Or you have a really big decision to make, and you just have to talk it through with someone. Whom do you turn to?

Most teens would say “my friends.” Friends are important—even essential. We love to talk things over with our friends. But are they always the best choice when we need a listening ear?

They understand you, because they’re living the same life you live. But that can sometimes be a problem. Because your friends’ lives are so much like yours, their perspective can be exactly the same as yours. Sometimes when you’re trying to find your way in the woods, it helps to climb a tree or a hill and get a different perspective. The same is true with trying to find your way through life.

Don’t ditch your friends or stop talking to them. But open up to the possibility that someone a little older and more experienced—a teacher, a pastor, even your parents—might have a different, wider perspective. Something new to offer. A little like climbing a tree.

Who could Job have talked to about his problems instead of his friends?
What are the disadvantages to talking with someone other than a close friend about your problems?
What are the advantages to talking with someone other than a close friend?
Why is it important to figure out who to talk with about personal problems?

Fill in the blanks of the following Bible verses. Then choose one that you would like to memorize and share in class.

“Let the ________ listen and add to their __________, and let the _____________ get guidance.” Proverbs 1:5 (NIV)
“Do not speak to a _____________, for he will _____________the __________of your words. “Proverbs 23:9 (NIV)
“Church leaders,. . .just as ________ watch over their sheep, you must watch over everyone God has placed in your care. . . . Don’t be bossy to those people who are in our care, but set an _____________for them. . . . All of you young _________ should ______ your elders. In fact, everyone should be humble toward everyone else.” 1 Peter 5:1-3, 5 (CEV)
“You can trust a friend who ___________ you, but kisses from an enemy are _________ but ________. “Proverbs 27:6 (CEV)
“Pay _________attention, friend, to what our father tells you; _______forget what you ____________at your mother’s knee. “Proverbs1:8 (The Message)

“How touching to see youth and old age relying one upon the other, the youth looking up to the aged for counsel and wisdom, the aged looking to the youth for help and sympathy. This is as it should be. God would have the young possess such qualifications of character that they shall find delight in the friendship of the old, that they may be united in the endearing bonds of affection to those who are approaching the borders of the grave” (Conflicted Courage, p. 144).

What Does This Have to Do With Me?

God wants to help you through the tough times in life. But His help doesn’t always come in the form of a vision or a voice from the sky, or even opening your Bible to the perfect text! Often God helps us through other people. Christian friends, parents, and leaders can help us see clearly what we’re sometimes unable to see when we’re stuck in the middle of a problem.

God loves to help you. Ask Him for guidance in finding someone trustworthy that you can talk to. When you find someone, check that person’s words and actions against the truths of God’s Word. A good Christian guide will walk the walk and talk the talk. He or she won’t be perfect, but they will be consistent and not a hypocrite, willing to admit when they’ve made a mistake.

God’s plan for you includes getting help from other agents in His kingdom… and also, you’re in training so that He can use you to help someone else along the way!

How can an older person possibly help you?
Is it possible that you will meet other people that will help you or become a friend to you that you wouldn’t expect to be helpful or friendly?

“A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” Proverbs 18:24 (NIV)

How Does It Work?

Think of an adult you respect—not someone who’s perfect and has it all together, but someone who’s honest, who cares about you, and who loves God. Maybe it’s one of your parents, maybe an aunt or uncle, a friend’s mom or dad, your youth leader or pastor or someone else at church.

This next part might be difficult (especially if it’s someone you don’t know really well and you’re kind of shy), but go to that person and say, “You know, I’d like to get together and talk to you sometime.” Or just grab an opportunity when you’re together with that person and say, “Sometimes I need to talk to an older person about some stuff. Can I talk to you?” Make an appointment to get together and just chat for a while. Ask this person if they will pray for you, or maybe even pray with you, about things that are going on in your life right now.

Finding the right trustworthy Christian adult to share your concerns with, and who will maybe give you a little well-placed advice, can make a big difference. If there’s no one you trust on the horizon right now, start a search for someone.

Possible Mentor		Possible Mentor
Name		Name
What I admire about this person		What I admire about this Person

How I might approach this person		How I might approach this person